Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Finding our way home...
We finally made it up the mountain. I mean, it isn't truly a mountain in the real sense, but it felt like one. If you are familiar with Alabama's hill country, you know what I am talking about when I say the hills are pretty steep. We grew up in the foothills of the Smokies there in north Jefferson County and the scenery is beautiful, especially in Spring. But back to the story.

By the time we made the top, it was full-on night. Christy and I were all scratched up and had numerous briar punctures all over our arms. My asthma was acting up, and luckily I had my inhaler.

Now Grandaddy says those woods are full of pits that were dug years ago by the mining crews who were testing for coal. I believe him. There used to be a mine air-shaft there. It was considered dangerous by the grownups, but considered the ultimate adventure by the younger group. The state came through a few years ago and bulldozed the Strip Pit and the air-shaft so no one who tresspassed on Grandaddy's land would get hurt or killed, Heaven forbid. So, back to the story line here....we were on the lookout for those pits up there on the ridge. Up there, the pines were still standing and it was already night, so it was just about impossible to see where we were going, much less look out for hidden holes in the ground. Just about then, we saw a patch of light in the darkness. It could have been water or grass, we couldn't tell, so Christy, brave soul that she is, decided to go check it out.

Now we knew to keep the distant highway (we could hear it) to our right and the farm would be slightly to our left and ahead of us. It was just a matter of getting through the brush and over the ridge; easier said than done. Luckily, that pach of white turned out to be the road Grandaddy bush-hogged for Nanny's golf-cart/Hummer. You can imagine the relief we felt when we realised where we were. We had been gone a couple of hours, most of it in the dark. We were sure that the family was out looking for us and that we would be in tons of trouble. I mean, here we were, I'm close to 40, Christy not so much, and we were worried we would get it from the parents. And rightly so. Scared the crap out of them. Those woods are dangerous. I know cousins who did get lost in them and couldn't find their way back. Christy turned to me and said, "Dana, the only thing about this that has me worried is that now we are going to be a "Story" in the family." And she hung her head...and then we laughed.

Sure enough, soon we heard a riding lawn mower motor and with it was my uncle who was out searching for us. He gave us a blistering cuss out and then got on the walkie-talkie to tell everyone he had us in custody...I mean he had found us. And here comes my aunt on her riding lawn mower. She calls my grandfather who is in his car with my husband looking for us on the road in case we came out of the woods down the street. And to make a long story even weirder, (I have to say this Daddy) my dad was out looking for us too and had gotten a teeny bit lost himself...without a flashlight. Oops, now I'm in for it. ;) Nanny was waiting for us at the top of the back field. She just shook her head at us and said Momma was waiting on us. Daddy was pissed when he got back from the woods and I don't blame him. We did what we would never want our kids to do and hopefully when they are older they will have forgotten this whole mess. But I doubt it. We are a Story now, aren't we?
Copyright Dana 2005
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Name: Dana
Location: Chicago, and if y'all call me a Yankee, I'll have to cyber-smack ya'!

I'm just a mom of two, a crafter of jewelry, and to keep my sanity among the Yankees (kidding)I write southern-themed poetry, short stories and memoirs. I have been published on the web on sites such as USA Deep South, Southern Humorists, Muscadine Lines - A Southern Journal, Mosaic Minds and Long Story Short. I am also a contributor in Dew on the Kudzu and Weight-Loss Articles.com where I write dieting humor.

And this is my blog... Kudzu, funny family stories, poems, family ghosts, snakes, sun-kissed southern memories all inside! Plus some travel reviews, recipes and more! I also make handcrafted jewelry! Check out my jewelry blog - Colors of the Woods

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"I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats." - Larry the Cable Guy

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy.
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"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?"
"Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?"
"Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?'"

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