My uncle decided he wanted a deer
to hang over his mantle of wood.
My aunt Elsie said, as he was collecting his gear,
"I really don't think you should."

"Hush woman!" said my uncle so fast
as he laced up his boots and stood.
"Deer season has been here since times past.
If you were a man I'd take you, I would."

She asked him for a little promise
before he left to go huntin'.
He was already late to meet his friend Thomas
so he answered not much of nuthin'.

So away he went, that country man
to get a ten-point buck
to hang over his mantle in the den
beside the stuffed mallard duck.

The hunting camp was a far piece away
down in the woods so deep
He and Tom greeted the first huntin' day,
both so happy they wanted to weep.

Uncle wore his camis with pride,
and painted his face black and green.
His buddy, Tom, laughed til he cried.
Then they hid so they wouldn't be seen.

An unlucky deer stepped into Uncle's view,
he carefully aimed and took shot.
The bullet flew so straight and true,
So he yelled, "Tom, look what I got!"

Later my uncle started gutting that deer
but left the head intact,
His buddy said between sips of his beer,
"You're nuts and that's a fact!"

"You're supposed to stuff the head of the buck,"
Thomas said while drinking his brew.
But later they left with the buck in the truck,
minus the head and the antlers it grew.

What they did take with them is a bit of a sight,
Aunt Elsie will say to visitors far and near,
My uncle brought home a trophy all right,
Instead of the head he brought the rear.