Went to our cottage on the river
and caught a few striped bass,
got water-logged wrinkled digits
and a sand-filled @$$.

I went and busted my toe
on a hidden, underwater stump
was too far up-river
when I had to take a dump.

The boys learned to take a leak
while standing in the river
the youngest pretended to be a ghost
and yelled, "I'm gonna eat your liver!"

My skin became extremely sunburned
and was very hot to the touch,
the kids decided to catch frogs;
but putting them in the cooler was a bit much.

Our sweet dog, Maggie, decided to poop
at night outside the bathhouse door,
and when my toes felt something mushy
I felt I couldn't take any more.

So we loaded up the kids
and speeded all the way home
vowing all the while
that we would never again roam.