Monday, July 25, 2005

I Saw a Funny Post Today...
...and had to share it with y'all. I ran across a blog today called It's a Wild Life and Unfortunately It's Ours and saw this...

Things that make you go "Hmmm"

  • If money is the root of all evil, why do churches beg for it?
  • Prostitution (paying for or selling sexual acts) is illegal in almost all states. But it's legal to pay or be paid to have sex on camera, (pornography).
  • Why is a bunny the symbol of Easter? And he carries eggs! Rabbits don't lay eggs, right?
  • Isn't it odd that all year you tell your kids not to play with fire, but then the Fourth of July comes around and you hand them explosives, a lighter and say "have fun"?
  • Doesn't a lightning rod atop a church show a lack of faith?
  • Why do we say, "heads up" when we want someone to duck for cover?
  • What was Captain Hook's name before he lost his hand and had to get a hook?
  • If you were on a nude beach and someone pissed you off, could you still say, "Put it where the sun don't shine"?
  • I saw an ad the other day for caskets (coffins), it said, "Lifetime Guarantee". Huh?
  • If the Hooters restaurant started home delivery, would they have to change the name to "Knockers"?
  • When French people cuss, do they say, "Pardon my English"?
  • Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
  • Why did Yankee Doodle name the feather in his hat "Macaroni"? For that matter, why did he name the feather in the first place?
  • Who was the first person to see a cow, and say, "I think I'll squeeze those dangly thingies under there, and drink what comes out."?
  • Who was the first person to say, "Do you see that chicken over there? I think I'll eat the first big thing to come out of it's butt."?
  • Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking place if you are not handicapped, but it's OK to use a handicapped toilet?
  • Why is it that "Chopsticks", is the easiest song to play on the piano, but the hardest utensil to eat with?
  • Why can't you get a tan on the palms of your hands?
  • If you were in space, and had a compass, which way would it point?
  • If the president was a gay man, would his husband be the First Man?
  • Since overalls are held up with the straps that go over your shoulders, why do they have belt loops?
  • Did Noah have woodpeckers on the arc? And if he did, why didn't he eventually sink?
  • If I lost both my legs in an accident, would I have to change my height and weight on my drivers license?
  • Why is the word "number" abbreviated into "no." when there is no letter "o" in the word?
  • And last but not least for today...
    If your name is David Crunch, and you joined the military, and you went up in ranks, how do the other people not laugh when they have to address you as Captain Crunch? And would you have to pay royalty rights or would they?
Copyright Dana 2005
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Name: Dana
Location: Chicago, and if y'all call me a Yankee, I'll have to cyber-smack ya'!

I'm just a mom of two, a crafter of jewelry, and to keep my sanity among the Yankees (kidding)I write southern-themed poetry, short stories and memoirs. I have been published on the web on sites such as USA Deep South, Southern Humorists, Muscadine Lines - A Southern Journal, Mosaic Minds and Long Story Short. I am also a contributor in Dew on the Kudzu and Weight-Loss where I write dieting humor.

And this is my blog... Kudzu, funny family stories, poems, family ghosts, snakes, sun-kissed southern memories all inside! Plus some travel reviews, recipes and more! I also make handcrafted jewelry! Check out my jewelry blog - Colors of the Woods

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"I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats." - Larry the Cable Guy

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy.
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"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?"
"Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?"
"Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?'"

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