Tuesday, November 22, 2005

It's Not Just About Probing Love Rods
Do you ever think about what a writer has to go through in order to write that best-selling novel? Do you think about all of the research and the writer's cramp?

What about finding just the right word for a particular thought?

Being part of a romance writers group, The GonnaBeez (some of whom are already "are"), I have learned it isn't all fun and sex games...it can be down-right hilarious as well.

Take for instance...the penis.

Yes, the penis. Romance writers write about them all the time, but how many times can you describe that part of a man's anatomy differently? It's harder than you think. No pun intended.

One of the nice ladies in the group listed a website that she had found that has such a list of "endowments".

The Crude Thesaurus - (adults only please)

Now, if you go there you will notice that all of the names are "pet names" not really something you would see in a historical romance or even a contemporary romance. But they do cause some hilarity, which makes it worthwhile just to go look.

Another of our "members" listed some she had put together for her writing use. If you read a romance, you will see that the descriptions and names are all pretty tame and sometimes quite foolish.

engorged manhood
the engorged muscle of his manhood
erect manhood
erect rod
evidence of his arousal
fiery brand
firm flesh
full throbbing erection
growing arousal
hard male loins
hard shaft
hardness of his arousal
hardness of his loins
his driving need
hot, bulging flesh
love's sweet arrow ( gag LOL)
male member
molten member - love that one
palsating manhood
probing shaft
probing love rod
pulsating core
rapidly growing erection - yeah that happens pretty frequently, doesn't it ladies?
rigid flesh
rigid part of him
rigid source of heat

Now, where was I? Ahem!

Anyway, today I was working on my romance story when I came across this dillemma and decided to blog about it. And it's not just about the penis. We have to describe the female anatomy as well. For example: breasts

God gave us breasts for one reason, to nurse babies, but somewhere down the line, men had to reserve them for their own pleasure. Here's a few examples writers use for this word.

globes of flesh


You notice that the list is much shorter? I am sure there are more, but I don't feel like re-reading a bunch of romances to ferret them out. My point is - romances are written for women. We have bazookas. We don't need to be reminded of them with cutesie words. However, reading about a pulsating shaft of pleasure pushes our romantic button (oh my God, am I really saying that?) and therefore we buy more books. Or attack our hubbies and boyfriends.

And don't get me started on female genitalia. Some of those phrases and words are downright hiliarious, but they sound much better than baldly saying "vagina". Don't you think?
Copyright Dana 2005
4 had something to share

Name: Dana
Location: Chicago, and if y'all call me a Yankee, I'll have to cyber-smack ya'!

I'm just a mom of two, a crafter of jewelry, and to keep my sanity among the Yankees (kidding)I write southern-themed poetry, short stories and memoirs. I have been published on the web on sites such as USA Deep South, Southern Humorists, Muscadine Lines - A Southern Journal, Mosaic Minds and Long Story Short. I am also a contributor in Dew on the Kudzu and Weight-Loss Articles.com where I write dieting humor.

And this is my blog... Kudzu, funny family stories, poems, family ghosts, snakes, sun-kissed southern memories all inside! Plus some travel reviews, recipes and more! I also make handcrafted jewelry! Check out my jewelry blog - Colors of the Woods

View my complete profile

Copyright  2005 Dana Sieben - All Rights Reserved

Creative Commons License
This work is
licensed under a
Creative Commons License.

View my page on Indiepublic
Use one of these buttons
and link to me!

Dana Mosley Sieben

Create your badge
Sign my guestmap!
Free Guestmap from Bravenet.com
Free Guestmap from Bravenet.com
If you'd like to share your thoughts via e-mail, get in touch with me here

imissala's photos More of imissala's photos
Chicago Lampoon

Belmont or Bust

I Was Trailer Trash When Trailer Trash Wasn't Cool

One Day at a Time

The Southern Epicure

Willing Hands (cross-stich blog)

A Tennessee Redneck in King Harald's Court

I am a Supersonic Streak in the Sky!

Becky's Carolina Journal

The Book Bitches

Alabama Kitchen Sink

Herbal Connection

Magnolia Mom

All Things Southern

Too Much Pork

Finding Fair Hope

The Little Things

The Patrick's

Going Places

The Phoenix

Olga's Blog

Leslie's Omnibus

Welcome to Beejland

Web Grits

Amy's Musings

Ruminations and Reflections

The SoapBox

The Martin Family

Travel Activities

Susie Pie

Lisa's Writing Projects

Monica's Thoughts

Bill's Bilge

Pirate Journal

Junkyard Poetry

Road to Writing

What's Up Down South?

Southern Comfort

All Kinds of Writing

Talking to Myself

The Notebored

Dana Reye's Place

Dovely's Days

Musings on Birmingham

Bill Harper's Humorwriter.com

Words to Go With - a Poetry Blog

Your Way Camping

Mushy's Moochings




The Sassy Southerner

Who Links Here

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket
"I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats." - Larry the Cable Guy

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy.
"Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?"
"Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?"
"Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?'"

courtesy of 100 Redneck Jokes

Image hosting by Photobucket
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Blogarama - The Blog Directory

blog search directory
Blog Directory & Search engine
Blogwise - blog directory

Writing , songs, humor & cool fun stuff
The Free Directory of Independent Writers and Artists
LitScene.com - The portal for writers and authors

FindingBlog - Blog Directory

TFS 100 TopBlogs

Personal Blogs
Start Blogging

Top100 Bloggers

Top100 Bloggers Webring
Join | Ring Hub | Random | Prev | Next

Listed in LS Blogs

al.com - Alabama Weblogs

Top Personal Blogs
Artwork for banner
supplied by client.
Photographer: Dana

Site Design By:

Powered by Blogger

« chicago blogs »