Thursday, December 15, 2005

I'm Dreaming of a...John Deere Christmas??

(please enjoy this article that I wrote for my newsletter, Southern Gal Goes North, on Yahoo groups back in November)

Today I was out shopping at Menards (kind of like a Lowes or HomeDepot) and I noticed that they had up all of their Christmas merchandise already. Now I think that THAT is all kinds of wrong, but that is not what today's article is about.

Today it is themes. Specifically, Christmas tree themes.

I didn't even realize that Christmas trees needed themes. I thought Christmas WAS the theme, but I guess it's not. Not according to Menards anyway.

As I was browsing through the ornaments section, I saw the usual stars, snowmen, Santas, etc.. Then I saw wineglasses, action figures, fishing lures, Mardi Gras masks, patriotic ribbons and ballerinas!

"What's up with that?" you may say. I have no clue.

In times past, Christmas trees were decorated with homemade ornaments, which progressed to wooden, then glass, then plastic. People used popcorn strings, then light strings, then pre-lit fake trees. Now we have themed trees.

I saw a wine tree. Yep, a wine tree. All of the ornaments were wine-themed including the lights, which were glass clusters of purple grapes. Some ornaments were little, tiny wine bottles, wineglasses, decanters, etc... It was a beautiful tree, but it didn't look like a CHRISTMAS tree. It looked like a wine tree.

Then there were the Mardi Gras ornaments. Silk masks, beaded necklaces, streamers, you name it. Again, beautiful tree, but it belonged in New Orleans on a Mardi Gras float, not in a living room for Christmas.

Let's see, oh yes, the action figure tree. I swear I saw Spiderman,Superman, Sponge Bob, Darth Vader, Bat Man, etc... It looked like my kids' toy box blew up all over the Christmas tree.

Then there was the Victorian/ballerina tree. Oh, it was gorgeous, but it just wasn't a holiday tree! It had Victorian, doll-sized dresses as ornaments, pink silk ribbons and bows and golden stars twinkling...It even had little high-heeled shoes hanging from the tree's boughs.

Let's not forget the John Deere tree. Do I have to say any more? Let's just say that all of the ornaments were all John Deere products in miniature. That's a lot of green!

I saw a patriotic tree covered with red, white and blue glass ornaments, patriotic ribbon garland and, believe it or not, an eagle tree topper.

Ummm, oh yes, the NASCAR tree. Dozens of little NASCAR racecars proudly showing the more famous numbers and colors, just a' hangin'on the tree. All it needed was a toy racetrack draped around it.

The Red Hat Society tree. All of the ornaments were red and purple - and feathered!

Can't forget the fishing tree for all you fishing enthusiasts. All of the ornaments had to do something with fishing: black bears wearing lures and fishing vests, holding up fish, paddles, canoes, etc... that tree would have looked awesome in a fishing camp or lodge.

The Candy tree. Probably the closest to a real Christmas tree I saw there. It was cute, I have to say. Strings of plastic gumdrops and peppermints draped all along the tree. Candy-shaped ornaments hanging everywhere and the usual candy canes of course. It looked good enough to eat and I gained five pounds just looking at it.

And for last...the Chicago Bears tree. Yes, my dear friends, all of the ribbons were blue and orange, and they all said Bears or had the Bears logo on them. That I can understand because, as of tomorrow, I am planning my tree for the family Alabama Crimson Tide tree, of course! It will be a white tree with red ball ornaments and some cute little elephant ornaments I found at the zoo. All I have left to do is go online and find a Big Al tree topper and I am all set.

Now that's a themed tree!
Copyright Dana 2005
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Name: Dana
Location: Chicago, and if y'all call me a Yankee, I'll have to cyber-smack ya'!

I'm just a mom of two, a crafter of jewelry, and to keep my sanity among the Yankees (kidding)I write southern-themed poetry, short stories and memoirs. I have been published on the web on sites such as USA Deep South, Southern Humorists, Muscadine Lines - A Southern Journal, Mosaic Minds and Long Story Short. I am also a contributor in Dew on the Kudzu and Weight-Loss where I write dieting humor.

And this is my blog... Kudzu, funny family stories, poems, family ghosts, snakes, sun-kissed southern memories all inside! Plus some travel reviews, recipes and more! I also make handcrafted jewelry! Check out my jewelry blog - Colors of the Woods

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"I believe that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, you can not baptize cats." - Larry the Cable Guy

A Tennessee man and an Alabama man were both fighting in a war and were captured by the enemy.
"Before we put you to death," said the enemy, "do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," said the Alabaman. "Could you play 'Yeah, Alabama' before you shoot me?"
"Sure," said the enemy. "How about you, Tennessean?"
"Could you shoot me before you play 'Yeah, Alabama?'"

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