Can a person be drawn to one place so much that they pine for it?

Now, if y'all have read my blog for a while, you would have figured out by now that I am battling depression. Even though I am on meds, it still takes over my brain now and then. And I know down deep in my heart that I am blessed for what I have, but part of me is discontented because I am not in Alabama. How shallow is that?

I am a Christian and should allow God to give me peace, but it's hard. I should be reading the Bible more, but I don't. My Dad, the preacher, would say that I am a backslider. I just know that I am not perfect, never said I was.

At least writing seems to give me an outlet for my frustrations.

Now Chicago is a beautiful city and the suburbs where we live are very nice, but I crave the mountains where I grew up, I miss my family every day, I miss the dogwood trees and the magnolias in bloom, the lush azaleas, the tall southern pine trees with their pine straw on the ground underneath. I am a country girl at heart. It took me 20 something years to figure that out, but now I know.

My therapist once told me that I was wishing for my youth. Well, maybe I am, but I know things won't be the same as I remember it being when I was growing up. I just want to be there, to make a new life with my family there. Is that so bad?

My oldest son wants to move, but the youngest is dead against it. My husband doesn't want to move either. You can see the struggle I have in my heart. I struggle with it every day, this discontent and I have to find a way to live without my wants. Because I am making my life miserable and my family's too.

I am sleeping every day while they are in school. The house has gone to crap and I don't care.

I am not asking for any tips on how to overcome this need, I am just thankful that you have read this far. I don't whine too much on my blog, so you know this is rare. Thanks for letting me cry on your shoulder.

Well, as Scarlett O'Hara said, "Tomorrow is another day."